Doing and Receiving Favours

A couple of days ago I was speaking to some group of individuals and I asked them about their relations with people and how they generally find others in their neighbouring or foreign communities in terms of support. Many had a few choice words such as people aren't the friendliest especially when they have no intimate information or interest about a person. I asked the entire group if someone had ever smiled at them at random on the street and surprisingly three out of ten in the group said they've had people smile at them in the street and I asked them how they felt, one of the group members named Rina said it was like saying sweet nothings in her ears. She said it felt very good even though it was of no importance or significance. She said it made her feel special and she smiled back and went on to smile at three other people that day who returned the smiles. She added that it was a unique experience yet one she would love to experience everyday. See how infectious that simple smile was? Three more people got to smile that very day.

Often times we forget the power of a nice gesture regardless of how meaningless it may seem. It goes a long way even if it's just a smile, wishing someone a "Good Morning", giving compliments, adjusting your friends askew or crooked outfit e.t.c. These nice acts of goodwill often improve our state of being. The same analogy can be drawn when talking about favours. Doing something for others and having others do something nice in return is a consistency in our human experience that has impacted so many lives in a very positive way. Favours is basically how humans thrive in this microcosm that we inhabit. "something done or granted out of goodwill, rather than from justice or for remuneration; a kind act: to ask a favor".
There are many people who would put their lives on hold to lend a friend, colleague, family member, an acquaintance a supporting hand. Many of these people fail to realise that as they accumulate doing favours, it inadvertently influences the way they are viewed in a very positive light. A good example is one from a colleague of mine. Valerie works as a translator and she does alot of pro-bono translations for friends. One day a friend of hers who she does translations for was asked if he knew anyone who was a translator, ofcourse her friend and colleague by the name of Simon knew many translators but the one person who came to his mind was Valerie. He recommended Valerie for the job which went on to earn her not only a long term partnership contract with the company in which she did the first translation work, but also it put her in an esteemed light in the eyes of Simon. Simon's recommendation of Valerie soared into many opportunities. Shortly after, she asked Simon "what made you recommend me for the job?" Simon's reply was "because I knew I could always count on you because over the years you proved it by being there for me when I needed it the most". The bottom line is if Simon hadn't been conscious of Valerie's goodwill then it might have slipped his memory that he owes someone a favour. I know some people who get favours from others but never acknowledge them when the right opportunity presents itself. It's only fair that we acknowledge those who have been there for us without them asking for it.

There are still some people who don't know how to ask favours in return like a very close friend of mine. He has family members and friends who owe him favours but he never takes advantage of it because he claims he doesn't want to be in anyone's debt. I remind him that those people are already indebted to him and he might as well give them some opportunity to return the goodwill. We have to remember that we really have got only one life to live. Having a lot of unreturned favours is like having lots of money in the bank and refusing to spend it when the need arises. If we don't spend it, the money remains and yields interest that may never come in handy because a time comes when we won't be able to use the favours because we're too old or have passed on. It's okay to ask for favours and also to ask for one in return when we need it especially if it'll improve our situation. That is the energy that guides the world "one good turn deserves another". Note that sometimes some might abuse the favour given them by emotionally blackmailing those who they think owe them favours. We shouldn't have to resort to this malicious form of extracting favours in any case.

When we do favours, it only improves our opinion of ourselves because people know they can count on us, they can trust us to deliver and who says good news doesn't travel fast? Remember in the case of Valerie, it did. When we seek favours, it demonstrates our vulnerability as human persons which is an attribute of our human nature, reflecting the need to energize ourselves through relations with our fellow humans. It connects people, society, nations and our world. Great leaders have sought favours and have returned them all in a bid to be improved. When an opportunity arises to experience the art of doing favours; if it's going to be to your advantage then you might as well explore it or someone else might. Note we're all connected to eachother in a cycle that never ends.

By,

K.C Nwokoye.